My sister has a one year old who I lovingly call my niece… because she is awesome. Said niece has one of those play seat circles. The kind that keep them upright and engaged, but makes it so she can’t escape. Well, the BF and I made a little joke about that play circle. We were referencing a little inside joke of some friends of ours who have twins… they call it the “Circle of Neglect.”
Well…. unfortunately my sister didn’t take to kindly to this joke, She took it as a judgement in her parenting skills. Me & the BF just thought it was funny. My sister is an awesome Mom.
This whole scenario got me thinking. This guilt thing is BIG. My sister (perhaps) feeling guilty about the “Circle of Neglect”, me feeling guilty about missing a workout or you missing a soccer game or family reunion. Guilt is huge in our lives and governs a lot of our gut responses.
All our life we have all these “shoulds” that fill up our heads. Some shoulds are bigger than others, but they are all shoulds. And they aren’t always true.
I should clean the house more.
I should eat better.
I should spend less.
I should see my niece more.
I should volunteer more.
I should have more friends.
I should have more parties.
I should recycle more.
I should save more money.
I should take better care of my boyfriend.
I should go dancing more.
I should make a longer list of “shoulds”
You get the idea. And you know what, these shoulds are not all based on reality.
I know I am doing the best I can.
I know I make the best choice I am able to at a given moment.
I know I try my hardest.
I know that the change I want and goals I have take TIME… a lot of time.
And you know what? Doing my best is good enough.
During this holiday season please be kind to you. Take some of the pressure off your own back. Treat yourself like your best friend and forgive your perceived shortcomings, give yourself a pep-talk even.
We are our own worst critic, the harshest judge & jury. This year, give yourself the gift of kindness and compassion. Make the best choice you can at the moment, a better choice than you might have made if you weren’t being mindful, and leave it at that.